Who I Am, What I Become
by The Fleeting Butterfly
Summary: A Missing Scene for "the Day of the Doctor" set during the time that Clara is talking to the War Doctor. This is what I like to imagine the other two Doctors were talking about... One-Shot R&R


**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Doctors or their companions or the TARDIS or really anything of Doctor Who. I do own some _****_merchandise but that doesn't give me any rights to decide what they do or anything. So yeah. I own nothing. Enjoy!_**

_A/N: This is a missing scene from "the Day of the Doctor". It is kind of self explanatory if you're familiar with the episode; however, if not, this may or may not make sense to you. If you __have not__ watched the episode (though I doubt there are any Doctor Who fans who haven't), please watch it! It is fantastic :D _

The 10th Doctor was watching his future self tinker with a small object he had found in his jacket pocket. According to him, he found many strange objects in his pockets, and often he didn't know where they came from or how they got there. With the Zygongs and humans negotiating across the room for who knows how long it would take, the two Doctors had retreated to their own corner where they had attempted to discuss the situation at hand. However, the conversation had ultimately lost force and dwindled to nothing.

And so they sat, the 10th Doctor watching the 11th Doctor tinker with the toys he found in his pocket.

Finally, the 10th Doctor could not stand it anymore. "What else have you forgotten?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know," the 11th Doctor replied, not looking up. "I few things, I suppose."

"Did you forget her?" the 10th Doctor asked.

This time, the 11th Doctor's eyes flickered up to meet those of his past's, if but for the briefest moment. "Her?" he asked.

"You haven't," the 10th Doctor decided, "You know _exactly_ who I'm talking about."

"I can honestly say I don't," returned the 11th Doctor. He held his trinket to the light to examine it.

"Oh, stop it," the 10th Doctor scoffed irritably, "Of course you do. You loved her."

The 11th sighed, thrusting the object back into his pocket and tucking his sonic screwdriver back inside his coat. "Fine. I did love her. But I've moved on."

"How?" the 10th asked. To his surprise, it was not the same accusatory question he had hurled at his future self before. It was honest, more than sincere. The knowledge that he would never see Rose again still made his hearts ache physical pain whenever he thought of it, which was almost all of the time. He always thought of Rose. How could he ever not?

The 11th Doctor hesitated, his boyish features hardening. "I'm sorry. But I can't tell you that."

"Why not?" Now the 10th Doctor was angry, his voice pitching.

"Because," the older Doctor said quietly, patiently, "I do not want to change who I have become in her memory."

This made the 10th Doctor pause. For the first time, he saw the pain carefully hidden in the 11th Doctor's eyes, the pain that rarely showed for all his absurdities. But it was there, and now he saw it clearly. The 10th Doctor swallowed before asking, "Have you lost someone else?"

The 11th Doctor smiled so sadly, his emotions now clearly playing across his face. "We've lost so many," he said, "all of us. Sometimes, it can be helped. Other times it can't. But everything comes to an end eventually, you know." The Doctor chuckled, though it was more of a choked sob. "Of course you know. It was your regrets, your pains, your mistakes that made me who I am. I know that, and you will too, someday. When you're me."

"I don't want to forget," the 10th Doctor uttered vulnerably. Why shouldn't he be open with himself? It wasn't like this other face, this other personality didn't already know him fully.

"Then don't forget," replied the 11th Doctor, "but don't let memories hold you back." The 11th Doctor reached out and put a hand on his past's shoulder. "You must have hope. Because without hope, you will always have nothing."

"Boys!" And suddenly Clara was there, her bright eyes wide. "We've got a problem."

END


End file.
